Numbers

On the way home, I really thought of updating this blog and I already have a title in my mind... NUMBERS. Lets start?

642 - this is my new CD4 Count. I should be sad but I think Im not. Why? nagsimula ako ng 292 agad ang CD4 ko, so I need to take meds. After that, nagpacd4 ako uli it went to 872 so it was a very big leap! Everyone is actually surprised! I was hoping to maintain that number but unfortunately it went down to 642. Nothing to be sad of actually because this is a really good number. Considering that a normal person's CD4 should be ranging from 500-1000. (I am not sure about that 1500). So makaabot ka lang talaga ng 500 normal na. I was kinda expecting na mejo mababa na din kasi depende din daw un sa kundisyon ng katawan mo. E the night before sobra ako nagpuyat dahil akpapanood ng isang documentary... 12:30 na ata ako nakatulog tapos gising ng 6! haha! tapos ang lakas pa ng ulan kanina. Pasaway ko di ba? but I know that in my normal condition it should be higher.

10 - This is the cut off time (10:00AM) that RITM is accepting pozzies for CD4 count. Sa layo ko 3 hours aabutin byahe ko and while on my way I was losing hope na kasi 7:30 ako nakaalis sa sobrang lakas ng ulan. So ayun uli, sabi ko Lord, ikaw na po bahala ah. Nung andun na ako sa ayala may shuttle dun, usually maghihintay ka talaga ng 15-20 minutes bago umalis yun minsan nga more than 30 minutes sa dalang ng sumasakay. e 9:40 na nung makarating ako dun sa sakayan. e tatakbo pa ang sasakyan, maglalakad pa ako. so wala na. pero nung pagdating ko sa sakayan sakto aalis na yung shuttle humabol lang ako. so pagkasakay ko, alis kaagad. Alam nyo, napangiti na lang ako tapos napabulong ako... IKAW talaga (referring to God). So ayun I came 3-4 minutes ahead of time. Photo finish nga daw ako sabi ni ate Ellen (nurse).

Ang dami pinagawa sa akin, actually nalungkot ako kanina nung kinuhaan ako ng dugo, iba na kasi yung way. hindi na sya parang dati na papasukan ka ng karayom tapos hihilahin yung plastic para lumabas ang dugo...kanina napansin ko, ipinasok yung karayom tapos parang butas sa dulo, lalagyanan ng tube, tapos... ipapasok yung tube... sisirit yung dugo papasok sa tube... habang sumisirit sya nalulungkot ako... nagseself pitty... bakit ko pinagdadaanan ito...

ANYWAYS... tuloy natin ang numbers...

12 - eto yung number kanina na kasabay ko nagpuntan dun sa oras ko. Madami na ito. Imagine pagdating ko dun 12 agad kami sa isang room tapos may mga bago pa. narinig ko na naman yung linyang "Welcome to the School!" School kasi ang RITM para mejo easy sya pakinggan.

6 - haha! matatawa kayo dito. malapit na talaga ako maniwala na may hitsura nga ako. Habang naglalakad sa kalsada, 5 ang napalingon ko! (head turner?) haha. oo tatlo na yung tumitingin sa akin na nakita ko (well hindi ko alam kung meron man na hindi ko napansin). yung isa nga e natakot ako kasi sobra makatitig dahil magkasalubungan naman kami. yung isa naman pacute, yung isa matanda, yung isa sa escalator, yung isa naman lumapit sa akin at kinausap pa ako... since wala ako magawa e kinausap ko na rin. mukha sya straight actually. nagpunta lang daw sya dun sa pwesto ko kasi nakita nya ako dun. inutusan ang daw sya ng asawa nya na bumili gatas ng anak nya. ayun nagshare sya masaya daw sya nakakakita tao katulad ko kasi daw parang nagpapaksaya lang ako samantalang sya nakakulong kasi di nya mahal girl tapos yun nga mukhang nagkakagusto na sya sa lalaki. alam kong di sya nagpapakaastig lang. sa loob loob ko, di mo talaga mapapaliwanag utak ng tao... ako naman isa na lang gusto ko sana.. ang magkaanak, samantalang itong isa, gusto nya sa shoes ko... tapos yun minamanyak ako! haha! well hindi na ako magkukuwento dun...

Sabihin nyo weird kasi nilagay ko 6 pero 5 yung sinabi ko na lumingon? kasi on my way binilang ko na sabi ko 5 tapos habang binibilang ko may ngumiti sa akin. papasok sana sya sa isang malaking supermarket kaso nagiba agad ng way nung madaan sa akin... huminto sa isang lugar... pumwesto sa may malapit sa akin tapos nagsmile. hayayyay! yun na lang kukuwento ko!

Sasabihin ng iba nagbubuhat ako bangko, pero totoo lahat yan. ewan ko ba di naman ako pogi, may hitsura lang hehe. O ayan mga pozzie ha, hindi porke pozzie tayo mukha na tayo sakitin. Dami kaya pozzie na mukha pa rin fresh kaya tuloy lang buhay natin ha!


TUKSO LAYUAN MO AKO!!!


Yours,

Potchini2

June

And so it is June? e anu naman? haha! I just decided to create my first write up.

What do I expect sa June? ULAN! whew! Cant imagine myself going to work and hurdle through the waves of edsa and the annoying traffic, not to mention being "basang sisiw". haha. wag no sabihin na hindi nyo naranasan yan. Also, I have to prepare for my health... I havent been sick in the longest years but I wont take chance. Haha. Im contemplating on having regular vitamins on top of my ARVs. Ayaw ko naman bugbugin si Liver ko. pero sabi naman nila doc pwede naman daw ako mag vitamins.

Also for June, I will be going back to my treatment hub (see you there but dont expect na maguusap tayo) for my annual exams. lahat yata ichecheck uli. And darn, for some reasons it gives me creeps kasi i dont want to know my CD4 count is goping down. I had a huge leap after I took my medicines and I dont want to change meds kasi na trauma na ata ako. yung first set of regimen ko is not very friendly for me. So guys kung may nagbabasa naman neto hingi ako ng prayers ha...

In my previous post, I mentioned that I created a PR Account to set as a reminder to people who are still promiscuous. And mind you... may basher sa account ko! Ayoko na lang ilagay ang username nya pero this is the flow of conversation:

Him: Taga Marikina ka ba talaga?
Hiv_potchi: Nope. Ginamit ko lang yan location na yan. bakit takot ka?
Him: Oo baka marami ka na nakasex dito e.
Hiv_potchi: Ah ganun ba, dont worry kasi tingin ko naman di kita mahahawaan. Una konti lang naman nakasex ko, pangalawa sure ako na hindi tau nagsex kasi hindi kita papatulan. Pangatlo, yung mga nakasex ko malamang may taste din sila. so for sure wala ka sa network ko.

 Haha. Hindi verbatim yang conversation na yan pero yan yung thought. di ko kasi nasave yung conversation history. Anyways kasalanan ko rin kasi pinatulan ko pa. Pero as blunt as I am, hindi ko talaga papatulan yung taong yun. haha. nakakatawa kasi siguro yun na lang outlet nya at akala nya porke may HIV ako e nawala na ang confidence ko sa sarili ko. Well, I will never let anybody stoop at me.

I have well established my confidence, I am a professional. I know I have looks and I know what my worth is. I am doing this as an advocacy and not a license to belittle my personality from a random unsubstantiated guy.

Having this virus doesnt make me lesser of a person than any normal being alive. We are all in equal footing. Bash me and you only gave me a reason to crush your spirits. hehe tapang no.

I just want to prove something. HIV is a disease. Its in the community. Its a natural thing being in existence for more than 30 years. Its not a sinner's curse. We are all sinners afterall... who are we to judge somebody else?

MABUHAY! HAHAHA


Yours,

Potchini2



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pahabol, nagmessage pa sya after ko ipost tong blog ko.

dimas lalong d nman ako papatol sa nabubiulok na katawan tulad mo pati nga utak mo bulok na bulok na..at d ako papatol sa me HIV tulad mo na d maip[akita ang muka siguradong bulok na bulok na muka mo........kung pangit ako mas pangit ka .......kaya iyan ang binigay asa iyo ni lord di ako nag tataka ...........ang mga bulok na tulad mo bulok din ang pinapatulan........ewwwwwweeeee HIV positive......iyan ang bagay sa iyo..........MAMATAY KANG MAAAGNAS..........BUTI NGA SA IYO NAGKA HIV KA ANG FULL BLOWN POSITIVE.........


Kilabutan ka ginagamit mo pa pangalan ni Lord for this senseless statement. ilalagay ko pa rin ba ang username nito? makakatulong ba yun? HMMM....

Dont make me wish for the opposite of what youve told me. Ayoko iwish na sana hindi ka mamatay. hahaha

HIV Registry

Counting... one of the first basic trainings that we have since childhood. But this time, I am not happy with the kind of count that I learned. Another set, in hundreds, were found to be positive in April this year alone... this year also marked the biggest number of new HIV positive cases in the Philippines. Hold on to your seats, as I give you the latest count:

January 2012     212
February 2012   274
March 2012       313
APRIL 2012     233

I will emphasize, these are figures in the Philippines alone and in year 2012! We have a total of 1,032 for year 2012 and 9,396 from 1984-2012. Can you guys imagine how big this figuire is?
from 1984-2012, which is 28 years, 2012 alone takes the 11% of total HIV cases AND this is only for four months! Teka anu ba ibig sabihin nun? Ibig sabihin nun karamihan ng 9396 na yan ay nanggaling sa 2012, what more kung hanggang December.

Ok mas padaliin natin, gawin nating taon, simulan natin sa 2009... partida...

2009                                      835
2010                                   1,591
2011                                   2,349
2012 (as of April alone)    1,032

Let me interpret the data, sa apat na buwan ngaun 2012, nahigitan na natin ang isang buong taon ng 2009, halos maabutan na natin ang 2010, at halos kalahati na ng 2011. Another view is that in these data approximately 3 and 1/3 years from 2009 to April 2012, the total percentage is 62% of the total HIV cases from 1984. Anu ibig sabihin nun? Ang bulto ng HIV cases is from the recent years with a sharp growth. Yes, we should be alarmed...

Also, let me reiterate that these cases are voluntary tests (as I assume since it is prohibited to force someone to take the test). Ilan pa kaya ang HIV positive na hindi alam ang status nila? They should know their status for their health and to protect their partners as well.

I am not sure if I am happy with the increase of numbers that we have, not because I am happy that they are positive, but because I am happy that people starts to learn the importance of being tested and knowing their status. Dalawa lang naman ang dahilan kung bakit tumataas ang count di ba? Either dumadami talaga ang HIV positive.. or ngayon lang marami nagpapatest at natatagpuan na positive sila dahil sa umiigting na kampanya against the virus.

I hope the counting ends. I hope the HIV registry count declines and my CD4 increases! haha nasingit ko pa yun... haayyayayay! Nga pala magpapa count na uli ako for my annual test... ayun... KABADO... Ill try to make a post regarding CD4 count soon.

God bless us.

Yours,

Potchini2