HIV Registry

Counting... one of the first basic trainings that we have since childhood. But this time, I am not happy with the kind of count that I learned. Another set, in hundreds, were found to be positive in April this year alone... this year also marked the biggest number of new HIV positive cases in the Philippines. Hold on to your seats, as I give you the latest count:

January 2012     212
February 2012   274
March 2012       313
APRIL 2012     233

I will emphasize, these are figures in the Philippines alone and in year 2012! We have a total of 1,032 for year 2012 and 9,396 from 1984-2012. Can you guys imagine how big this figuire is?
from 1984-2012, which is 28 years, 2012 alone takes the 11% of total HIV cases AND this is only for four months! Teka anu ba ibig sabihin nun? Ibig sabihin nun karamihan ng 9396 na yan ay nanggaling sa 2012, what more kung hanggang December.

Ok mas padaliin natin, gawin nating taon, simulan natin sa 2009... partida...

2009                                      835
2010                                   1,591
2011                                   2,349
2012 (as of April alone)    1,032

Let me interpret the data, sa apat na buwan ngaun 2012, nahigitan na natin ang isang buong taon ng 2009, halos maabutan na natin ang 2010, at halos kalahati na ng 2011. Another view is that in these data approximately 3 and 1/3 years from 2009 to April 2012, the total percentage is 62% of the total HIV cases from 1984. Anu ibig sabihin nun? Ang bulto ng HIV cases is from the recent years with a sharp growth. Yes, we should be alarmed...

Also, let me reiterate that these cases are voluntary tests (as I assume since it is prohibited to force someone to take the test). Ilan pa kaya ang HIV positive na hindi alam ang status nila? They should know their status for their health and to protect their partners as well.

I am not sure if I am happy with the increase of numbers that we have, not because I am happy that they are positive, but because I am happy that people starts to learn the importance of being tested and knowing their status. Dalawa lang naman ang dahilan kung bakit tumataas ang count di ba? Either dumadami talaga ang HIV positive.. or ngayon lang marami nagpapatest at natatagpuan na positive sila dahil sa umiigting na kampanya against the virus.

I hope the counting ends. I hope the HIV registry count declines and my CD4 increases! haha nasingit ko pa yun... haayyayayay! Nga pala magpapa count na uli ako for my annual test... ayun... KABADO... Ill try to make a post regarding CD4 count soon.

God bless us.

Yours,

Potchini2

Planet Romeo

Yesterday I decided to create a planet romeo account. Primarily because I want the people to know that this virus exist and this is just around the community. Your classmate, friends, partner, family or even YOU may already have caught one.

Naalala ko lang nung panahon na nalaman ko kung paanu ko nalaman na meron ako. Wala ako ka ide-idea na meron na ako. I was never sick. I cant even remember the last time that I have been feeling unwell even simple colds. Wala talaga ako nararamdaman ng kung anu ano. And because I started to hear some advocacies about the test, I just gave it a try... I also had my share of irresponsibilities, I guess lahat naman tayo at some point in our lives e nakagawa ng isang bagay na hindi masyado pinagiisipan, kaso ako... ayun, BINGGO. Until now I am still thinking if I did the right thing because it really affeted me emotionally. I want to have my own family, or kahit magkaanak man lang. Ayoko din tumanda magisa. These are some of the things  that I still  have in my mind right now...
EVEN AFTER A YEAR OF BEING DIAGNOSED.

Another reason why I created the account is to compensate for my deficiencies. Magpapakatotoo na ako, you may hate me, but I cannot divulge my identity to those that I date. I dont have the strentgh to tell that I am positive. The reason is that I am afraid that it backfires to my family, not to me... I cant trust this kind of stigma associated virus to anyone na madulas lang e sira na ang buhay ng pamilya ko.. I also think na mas nakakatakot pa ang mga hindi alam ang status nila dahil sila ang may mas malaking chances to infect.  I believe that this kind of sickness is shared responsibility, the reason why I did not searched for the possible person whom I caught this, Do not expect that people who tested positive are all heroes that they will deprive themselves of their needs just to protect you. I hate it when they call themselves victims, Hello! nung ginawa nyo yun dalawa kayo may gusto hehe.Isa pa, I take my pills (which reduces the chance of transmission of  more than 90%) and I never have sex without condoms. Ok, that being said, ako na matapang sa mga mapanghusgang pwedeng magbasa nito, dahil I know there are positives who does but does not tell. Why do I put this in my blog, I WANT YOU NON POSITIVES TO NOT TO DEPEND ON POZZIES FOR YOUR HEALTH. TAKE CHARGE.

AYoko maging plastik, nung nalaman ko na ganito ako hindi naging bato ang puso ko. ako pa rin yung dating ako mula nung bata hanggang ngaun. Nasasaktan, nalulungkot at ayaw matrato na parang isang salot. I am very productive and I decided to do this blog to help.

Hay ang bigat.

Anyways I received a message yesterday sa PR and I wanted to share it with you:

alam mo gusto kita makilala gusto ko malaman pinag dadaanan mo,,, wala man akong sakit ng gaya ng sayo... di naman ako yung natatakot mag karoon ng ganyang karamdaman,, ang sa akin eh magawa ko kung ano ang masaya ako.. tama ka isang beses lang nabubuhay ang isang tao.. kaya na sa sa iyo na yun kung paano mo ito gagamitin... lagi ko babasahin diary mo.. you makes me inspired di ko alam kung paano o kung saan.

SALAMAT SAYO. ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit naglakas loob ako na ilabas na itong part ng nasa isip ko.

Yours,

Potchini2

Dream

Last night I woke up in the middle of my sleep. I am not sure why but I felt sad. Extremely sad. I grabbed my phone and surfed the net and does my usual routine, check the status of any pending cure research against the little monsters that I have. Haha crazy right? I am not sure why I always do that but I believe that a cure can be found within my lifetime.

Anyways, pinili ko pa rin matulog dahil may pasok pa ako sa opisina. Otherwise bangenge na naman ako sa office and I wouldnt be able to perform my task as much as I want to. (ako na workaholic!)

In my dream, I was in a hotel, in a hotel, there was a dirty lake.. and ang daming bangaw. Oo, bangaw! mga malalaking langaw. na habang nakikipagkuwentuhan ako sa mga kaibigan ko may mga bangaw na tumatama sa dibdib ko. pinagpappaatay ko ang mga bangaw at ng makita ko ang dami ko talagang nakita. umalis ako sa lugar na yon pero nauhaw ako... bumalik pa ako para uminom ng iced tea. haha panaginip nga naman o!

And then I woke up. I know it has meanings. I grabbed my phone and checked the net if I can find meaning of it... and I was astounded with what I read...

Flies 
To see flies in your dream symbolize filth and dirtiness, either physical or emotional. It indicates feelings of guilt or a breakdown of a plan. Flies may also forewarn of a contagious sickness. Alternatively, the fly could represent an irritating and annoying person in your life. Perhaps someone does not know how to mind their business.

To dream that you kill or exterminate the flies indicate that you will redeem yourself and regain your honor after your fall from grace.

To see a white colored fly in your dream represents death. This may not necessarily be a physical death, but a metaphorical death. You will be undergoing some significant change to your lifestyle.

Lake

To see a lake in your dream signifies your emotional state of mind. You feel restricted and that you can't express your emotions freely. Alternatively, the lake may provide you with solace, security, and peace of mind. If the lake is clear and calm, then it symbolizes your inner peace. If the lake is disturbed, then you may be going through some emotional turmoil.

Well then, I think I am still in an emotional coaster. But I know that I can win this battle. Simply because I know I will only live once. And I must live the most of it. Natuwa ako sa meaning na napatay ko ang mga langaw.That I will redeem my self. I know I will. WIth God's grace and my family's support I know I will. I know I will. I have no other choice.... losing is not an option...

May gusto ako ishare kung may nagbabasa man nito... tungkol sa lovelife... pero saka na kapag malakas na ang loob ko sa mga maaaring manghusga sa akin.... tutal this is my page, and I am using this to free my self... 

Goodnight

Yours,

Potchini2

My 1st Entry

After a year of being diagnosed as HIV positive, I learned how to read blogs and monitor fellow POS how they live their lifes. It made me feel somewhat "normal" after learning their success and struggles. That everything that I am going through is what they also felt. That I am not alone..

Hindi ako magpapakaplastik to tell that I am completely healed. There are still what ifs and what could have beens in my head. I am still struggling. And I want to be transparent with that. After all, I am still human. This little things inside me should never dictate how I will live my life. I am much bigger than it.

Yeah! Its an everyday struggle. learning to live positively.. ano pa ba mawawala... positive na nga... :)

Yours,

Potchini2