June

And so it is June? e anu naman? haha! I just decided to create my first write up.

What do I expect sa June? ULAN! whew! Cant imagine myself going to work and hurdle through the waves of edsa and the annoying traffic, not to mention being "basang sisiw". haha. wag no sabihin na hindi nyo naranasan yan. Also, I have to prepare for my health... I havent been sick in the longest years but I wont take chance. Haha. Im contemplating on having regular vitamins on top of my ARVs. Ayaw ko naman bugbugin si Liver ko. pero sabi naman nila doc pwede naman daw ako mag vitamins.

Also for June, I will be going back to my treatment hub (see you there but dont expect na maguusap tayo) for my annual exams. lahat yata ichecheck uli. And darn, for some reasons it gives me creeps kasi i dont want to know my CD4 count is goping down. I had a huge leap after I took my medicines and I dont want to change meds kasi na trauma na ata ako. yung first set of regimen ko is not very friendly for me. So guys kung may nagbabasa naman neto hingi ako ng prayers ha...

In my previous post, I mentioned that I created a PR Account to set as a reminder to people who are still promiscuous. And mind you... may basher sa account ko! Ayoko na lang ilagay ang username nya pero this is the flow of conversation:

Him: Taga Marikina ka ba talaga?
Hiv_potchi: Nope. Ginamit ko lang yan location na yan. bakit takot ka?
Him: Oo baka marami ka na nakasex dito e.
Hiv_potchi: Ah ganun ba, dont worry kasi tingin ko naman di kita mahahawaan. Una konti lang naman nakasex ko, pangalawa sure ako na hindi tau nagsex kasi hindi kita papatulan. Pangatlo, yung mga nakasex ko malamang may taste din sila. so for sure wala ka sa network ko.

 Haha. Hindi verbatim yang conversation na yan pero yan yung thought. di ko kasi nasave yung conversation history. Anyways kasalanan ko rin kasi pinatulan ko pa. Pero as blunt as I am, hindi ko talaga papatulan yung taong yun. haha. nakakatawa kasi siguro yun na lang outlet nya at akala nya porke may HIV ako e nawala na ang confidence ko sa sarili ko. Well, I will never let anybody stoop at me.

I have well established my confidence, I am a professional. I know I have looks and I know what my worth is. I am doing this as an advocacy and not a license to belittle my personality from a random unsubstantiated guy.

Having this virus doesnt make me lesser of a person than any normal being alive. We are all in equal footing. Bash me and you only gave me a reason to crush your spirits. hehe tapang no.

I just want to prove something. HIV is a disease. Its in the community. Its a natural thing being in existence for more than 30 years. Its not a sinner's curse. We are all sinners afterall... who are we to judge somebody else?

MABUHAY! HAHAHA


Yours,

Potchini2



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Pahabol, nagmessage pa sya after ko ipost tong blog ko.

dimas lalong d nman ako papatol sa nabubiulok na katawan tulad mo pati nga utak mo bulok na bulok na..at d ako papatol sa me HIV tulad mo na d maip[akita ang muka siguradong bulok na bulok na muka mo........kung pangit ako mas pangit ka .......kaya iyan ang binigay asa iyo ni lord di ako nag tataka ...........ang mga bulok na tulad mo bulok din ang pinapatulan........ewwwwwweeeee HIV positive......iyan ang bagay sa iyo..........MAMATAY KANG MAAAGNAS..........BUTI NGA SA IYO NAGKA HIV KA ANG FULL BLOWN POSITIVE.........


Kilabutan ka ginagamit mo pa pangalan ni Lord for this senseless statement. ilalagay ko pa rin ba ang username nito? makakatulong ba yun? HMMM....

Dont make me wish for the opposite of what youve told me. Ayoko iwish na sana hindi ka mamatay. hahaha

Planet Romeo

Yesterday I decided to create a planet romeo account. Primarily because I want the people to know that this virus exist and this is just around the community. Your classmate, friends, partner, family or even YOU may already have caught one.

Naalala ko lang nung panahon na nalaman ko kung paanu ko nalaman na meron ako. Wala ako ka ide-idea na meron na ako. I was never sick. I cant even remember the last time that I have been feeling unwell even simple colds. Wala talaga ako nararamdaman ng kung anu ano. And because I started to hear some advocacies about the test, I just gave it a try... I also had my share of irresponsibilities, I guess lahat naman tayo at some point in our lives e nakagawa ng isang bagay na hindi masyado pinagiisipan, kaso ako... ayun, BINGGO. Until now I am still thinking if I did the right thing because it really affeted me emotionally. I want to have my own family, or kahit magkaanak man lang. Ayoko din tumanda magisa. These are some of the things  that I still  have in my mind right now...
EVEN AFTER A YEAR OF BEING DIAGNOSED.

Another reason why I created the account is to compensate for my deficiencies. Magpapakatotoo na ako, you may hate me, but I cannot divulge my identity to those that I date. I dont have the strentgh to tell that I am positive. The reason is that I am afraid that it backfires to my family, not to me... I cant trust this kind of stigma associated virus to anyone na madulas lang e sira na ang buhay ng pamilya ko.. I also think na mas nakakatakot pa ang mga hindi alam ang status nila dahil sila ang may mas malaking chances to infect.  I believe that this kind of sickness is shared responsibility, the reason why I did not searched for the possible person whom I caught this, Do not expect that people who tested positive are all heroes that they will deprive themselves of their needs just to protect you. I hate it when they call themselves victims, Hello! nung ginawa nyo yun dalawa kayo may gusto hehe.Isa pa, I take my pills (which reduces the chance of transmission of  more than 90%) and I never have sex without condoms. Ok, that being said, ako na matapang sa mga mapanghusgang pwedeng magbasa nito, dahil I know there are positives who does but does not tell. Why do I put this in my blog, I WANT YOU NON POSITIVES TO NOT TO DEPEND ON POZZIES FOR YOUR HEALTH. TAKE CHARGE.

AYoko maging plastik, nung nalaman ko na ganito ako hindi naging bato ang puso ko. ako pa rin yung dating ako mula nung bata hanggang ngaun. Nasasaktan, nalulungkot at ayaw matrato na parang isang salot. I am very productive and I decided to do this blog to help.

Hay ang bigat.

Anyways I received a message yesterday sa PR and I wanted to share it with you:

alam mo gusto kita makilala gusto ko malaman pinag dadaanan mo,,, wala man akong sakit ng gaya ng sayo... di naman ako yung natatakot mag karoon ng ganyang karamdaman,, ang sa akin eh magawa ko kung ano ang masaya ako.. tama ka isang beses lang nabubuhay ang isang tao.. kaya na sa sa iyo na yun kung paano mo ito gagamitin... lagi ko babasahin diary mo.. you makes me inspired di ko alam kung paano o kung saan.

SALAMAT SAYO. ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit naglakas loob ako na ilabas na itong part ng nasa isip ko.

Yours,

Potchini2