Part of activating this blog once again is being asked with several questions. I would like to share with you one of the messages that I received this morning, first thing that I read in my phone. My eyes went big as I asked myself, what am I blogging? Does my write-ups makes me look someone to feel sorry about? Here is the message from my planet romeo account:
hi! i read your blog and mejo nakakasad ang nangyari sau... im negative pero im still so careful and paranoid. i never had unprotected sex and i try not to engage in any risky sexual activity .
back in 2011 ata ( same year you were diagnosed) nung una akong magpa test. and then i posted in here in PR... few people asked me how to do it and i advised them how. most of them were negative ( sinamahanko pa yung iba)..pero one of them ( never kaminagkita instructed ko lang xa thur txt) became positive. he was so devastated hindi ko alam paano i handle situation niya.
ask ko lang, were you engaged in risky sexual behaviors before? like bareback? or drugs? or super careful ka din pero nagkasakit ka pa din? and i have classmates ko died at very young age due to tb i suspect it was hiv pero never ko na pinagsabi kasi wala din naman mangyayari at patay na sila pero nakakatakot nga isipin na biglaan n lang.
salamat at more power to you
In english, "Hi, I read your blog and it saddens me about what happened to you, I am negative but still careful and paranoid. I never had unprotected sex and i try not to engage in any risky sexual activity .
It was in 2011 (same year you were diagnosed) that I first had my test, and then i posted it here in PR... few people asked me how to do it and i advised them how. most of them were negative except for one of them. He was devastated but I dont know how to handle his case. Did you engaged your self in risky sexual behavior? drugs? Or are you super careful but still you caught HIV? I have classmate who died at very young age due to tb, I think he was HIV positive. Thanks and more power to you"
First of, you dont need to be sad about my case. Well, thank God but I am perfectly fine right now. I guess much better before I was diagnosed. In terms of life perspective, I have learned to live life more and really sort my priorities in life. I tend to value time and make the most of it. My health is good and hopefully will remain that way for a very long time. To be honest, I have learned to be more positive after becoming HIV positive. Ironic but true.
Did I engaged in risky sexual activities? Yes. Perhaps I trusted a lot. And way back then I must admit, I dont have proper knowledge. I thought HIV is a very rare case since the only HIV positive I know back then was Sarah Jane Salazar. Was I promiscuous? Hmm, I did engaged in casual sex but I dont think not to the point of being tagged as one. Did I used drugs? Other than those that can be bought from pharmacy I dont. Never will I try illicit drugs.
Regarding the person who died in a young age, God bless his soul, my suggestion is, let him take his rest. Health is a very confidential matter and he owes no one an explanation about his status even you. Sorry for being blunt but he have that rights to keep it confidential. TB is not solely caused by HIV. Its air airborne disease and its in the environment. Philippines unfortunately, has high case of TB incidents.
You dont need to be paranoid in having HIV, not that this is not a serious health threat but there are other illnesses you should also look at. Hepa, Cancer et al. Easier said than done but, what will your life be if you live in anxiety. Do your best to have your self protected and have intimate moments with your partner alone. Being monogamous is a very good start. I would also like to empower those who are afraid to know their status, we already have ARVs (antiretroviral drugs) used to suppress the virus that attacks the immune system. If you find your status early and you started with drugs, it is not impossible to live like a normal life again, like I do!
What am I trying to say? HIV can make or break you. But it doesnt mean its the end of it. Most of the HIV positives that I talked with had a better life perspective after they learned their HIV status. Although I really hope that a cure should someday come, and I pray that this disease will be gone in this world, there are very valuable life lessons that these microscopic viruses taught me. That living a good life does not equate to the length of years you stayed in this world, it is how you live your life to the fullest. Sometimes, you have to hit your head to realize the reason why you live... for you to live for that reason. Logically obvious, but most of the time forgotten.
Thank you for your concern, but I am healthy, happy and better now.
Yours,
Potchini2
