HIV in the Philippines

 Hello there! Its nice to be back after few months of being away from this blog. I was too busy to even notice that its almost 4 months since I made an entry. I tried visiting my page again and I felt like reading some of my posts and I felt the sincerity back when I was writing those. It even reminds me of what pushes me to write at that time. Well for now, what brought me here is my last entry about asking God why it has to be me in terms of catching HIV. Although it feels good to travel back to past, what I am about to share is quite a bad news.

431 newly infected HIV Filipinos has been detected in June 2013 alone. This is way high compared to my batch (why does it sounds funny for me to tell "my batch"???) which is around 180 two years ago. I am quite happy with the news. Happy in the sense that there is something in me that tells me that these people are not "newly" infected but some or most of them are just starting to be aware of the importance of knowing their status. Although this is a bad news to anyone to learn that they already caught the virus, this is generally a good start. First, they are now more concious of the lifestyle that their having and be more protective of their health and second, they are now (hopefully) be more responsible in their sexual activities doing their very best not to infect others.

To those who are newly diagnosed and is currently surfing the net to see if there is something or someone that they can relate to. I hope my blog will be useful. I wrote some articles during my ups and my downs because it helped me cope up from my stress and I know the importance of knowing that somebody has gone where you are right now and is able to live after the shock.

I am sending you my prayers and my hug. Continue living. Life is wonderful.

This is my diary. This is our story.

Yours,

Potchini2

God Why Me?

 



 

I think it is nature of a human to dream and live a life based on what we want it to be. So do I. Everyone has the right to pursue their dreams, to get things that they wanted. After all, we only live once, better make the most out of it.

 

But sometimes during the journey, we come accross different hurdles in life and realize that life isnt a smooth road to just pass through. During our travel, there are things that happens that even makes our destination bent to a different road. It is then that we realize that we should let reality takeover where dreams sit in.

 

I dreamt of being a very successful professional since I was a child. To wear corporate attires, be respected and not be treated as a typical mediocre. I know I have personality, I am intelligent... I have the equipments to get to the dreams where I want to be. But in the course of achieving those dreams, I learned that I am HIV positive.

 

The initial reaction was to stop. Look around me and realized... Im lost. In the midst of thinkining that I am closer to where I wanted to be, I noticed that I am alone. I was blinded by my goals to see the more important things that matters to me. I lost time to my family, my friends... and my self. It is obvious that you should ove yourself over work but it is sometimes hard to identify that you are being eaten by your dreams.

 

HIV made me stop, it even made me let go of some of my aspirations and get hold of things that really matters to me. I am now in the point where Ive learned to appreciate things that makes me happy, those who constantly makes me feel loved. It is not as easy as it sounds, I know I am an achiever, a hard worker. But everytime I am contained by so many things I pause for a while.

 

Many would ask, God... why me?! Are you punishing me for being bad? Am I that bad?! And after a while I asked my self again... why not me?! I would like to share this question to you my dear readers (if there are any). Everytime you you ask God why you? Ask yourself... why not? You are not more special than anyone else. We are equals in the eyes of God. Everything has a purpose and it may take time to unveil. And we are not given tests because He wants us to be punished. He loves us, He gave his only son to save us. No amount of love is higher than offering His son despite His being the most powerful, just to save us. I must admit, I never dreamed of catching HIV, nor I want to have it if I have an option... but this virus made me become a better version of myself.

 

I need to continue life... the gift that He gave me. And everytime I drink my meds, there starts my battle to protect the life that He entrusted me.

 

After 2 years of being positive, I am now lifting my baggage again. I must start my journey towards my dreams, but now, the things inside my bag is not just knowledge, aspirations and hardwork, I have brought with me the love that keeps me going and will ensure that I have them until the end.

 

Lets celebrate the love of our God this Holy Week.

 

Yours,

 

Potchini2

A stricter CD4 Count Schedule at RITM

Hi guys! How are you! Yeah I know I promised to update this blog every once in a while when I am not busy but what can I do? I am busy. Yet it is still my duty to update this site in every important things that I think could help my fellow pozzies in their battle.. and ofcourse for those who are in any ways intersted how a life of HIV positive is being lived.

 

Anyways...

 



Earlier this year, I visited RITM for my semi annual CD4 count. So I have to wake up in the morning... and I mean early morning because I have to be there at 7AM... I am now contemplating about the CD4 sched in RITM because I forgot the time schedule that they allow patients to have their count. I believe its around 7-8 AM every weekdays except Wednesday.

Now for the real story, I was originally scheduled last December, but various activities prohibited my from doing so so I have to make it this year. Apparently, they did not allowed me because they said I have to stick with my schedule and for whatever reason that is, I need to adhere to 2x count a year. If
I have to take my count This year, that means that the next count that Ill be having is December. So I will miss my Annual Medical Examination in June where it consists of almost entire set of laboratory tests. I also have the option to pay or personally shoulder the expense amounting to 6K plus.
It is quite an amount so I decided to take my test in June instead, well the last count that I had last June is pretty impressive so I think I will not be in any risk if I have to skip this session. It is also one of the advise that I got from the nurse.

I cannot object about it. It is my fault. The government is paying for my expense. I only wish that they had informed me earlier on so I could have made  a wiser decision. Anyways whats done is done. Also, I think I am not yet emotionally prepared if ever I learned that I do not have a favorable result in the count.

Well I am hoping that my count in June is still above the minimum normal count. Considering that my meds is already in the second line, I need to take a good grip into it. POSITIVE THINKING POT.


Guys I appreciate if there are any followers of this blog to leave a comment once in a while. Sometimes I think that I am the only one reading my own blog. That could motivate me to write perhaps :)

Yours,

Potchini2