I need a hug

Okay, this is supposed to be a blog filled with positivity. But this is also my outlet to release my stress. I think Im starting to feel down again... I need a hug!!!


My job really is starting to drain my energy. I cannot even feel my body at times. I am even too tired to get that sleep that I wanted if you know what I mean. Considering that I should be taking myself twice more than people without little monsters in their blood... I am thinking if I should be leaving my work. It is not an easy task for me, my work now has been my home for 5years and it actually helped me a lot. Im workaholic but I dont want to push my self much considering I should prioritize increasing my CD4 count. Worst is, because of busy work... I forgot to take my medicine 3 hours late... this is the second time I was late for the week... the other one was 2 hours late.Easy to blame the virus right?! I hope that little monsters wont mutate and be resistant to the current ARVs that I am taking... Now I am getting paranoid. But what can I do... whats done is done and I need to plan better to never let this misses happen again.My body felt like being gang raped by 10 guys... (oops never think that I experienced a gang bang okay?!) haha. But it WAS a fantasy... going back....

I really felt that I need a hug. I need positive things to come in... and just when I need it I remembered little things that happened to me for the day...

Mom called me in the cellphone in the middle of my much needed sleep which ofcourse, woke me up. I was kinda irritated because I cant hear her from the other line and ofcourse I really feel I need sleep. I texted her, why? She responded "Wala, chinecheck lang kita". (Nothing... Im only checking you out). Sweet!!!! WHAT AM I WITHOUT YOU!!!! ILABYAH!!!


Also, someone messaged me from PR... this also made me smile...

hi, i am reading your blog right now while composing this message (i don't have HIV, dunno if i have) and i salute you because you still have that positive vibes that surrounds you...i haven't been to any of the hospitals you posted on your blog but it's a big help to know where should i go in case i feel the need to get my self checked...

i've read some bashing you've encountered on this site and you have my RESPECT in handling those people...i have many thoughts as well with people who have AIDS but you changed all of it...even if i haven't seen you...i feel that i like you...your attitude and how you see your life as a whole...

I'll be thinking of you when i get my self checked and i'll inform you asap!!!


 Knowing that the purpose of this blog is served... I am happy for that... to atleast helped a single guy know his HIV status through me is a really big thing. What more would it be after receiving messages that they will check their status after reading my blog. Either they will do it in the near future or not... I know they are now aware.


But still, I need a hug.

Yours,

Potchini2