I have been reading a lot of blogs and write-ups regarding HIV and living with the virus after I was tested positive, including the laws that "controls" the virus. I agree to most of them but there really is something that I cannot absorb...
"HIV criminalization due to ptotected/unprotected sex."
"HIV positives should be careful not to infect others."
" It is more acceptable if HIV positives would find a partner with the same status."
Most tackles about this topic. Although this provides sense, what I cannot swallow is that everything is focused now how HIV positives should act to protect the community.
I tested positive and I was so depressed that I dont want to get into that emotional coaster in my life again.But after reading some of the articles, I noticed my self unconciously believeing that HIV positives are a different specie. I almost accepted that I am not who I was. I saw myself as a destructive weapon and would sometimes believe that if there is a global movement for HIV postive genocide, I should participate. That this only way to be responsible, and to stop HIV. I just saw myself as part of HIV registry count and forgot that I am ONE, ONE who has his own identity and being gifted by GOD of a life to live. That is how I used to see myself because of what the society pushes me to believe. And there comes realization....
It pushed me back the day I heard the news that I am infected by the virus. I also asked myself who I got this disease from? But that is not the major question that bothered me. I thought more of how I cannot spread the virus more than think first of how I should live my life from then on to keep myself healthy. I guess Ive been responsible with that line of thinking. But what is the point of letting HIV postives feel that they have the sole responsibility to take care of the society's health and well being??? I believe that I would be given the benefit of the doubt to know what I am talking about because I am in the right shoe to express being an HIV positive, but I never tried to search who I got this from for me to blame that person. If there is someone to blame, it is myself. I am the one who is primarily responsible of taking care of my own life and be on top of the choices that I make. But why all of a sudden, I should be burdened by the though that I should be more responsible for others health?
I hope im addressing my point clearly. I CONDEMN those HIV positives for willingly infecting others, but I DISPUTE the idea that HIV positives are MORE responsible for the health of others.
Being HIV positive, we are well equipped with the fact that we should always practice safe sex, that is the responsibility we ARE ALL BURDENED. That is the reality that we should face. But more than that, being bombarded by opinions that we should isolate ourselves like a different human class, that is enough. I AM ONE. I AM STILL WHO I WAS before the virus.
THE SOCIETY SHOULD NOT ONLY RELY ON US to keep the community away from the virus. If everyone will be aware of how they SHOULD take care of their own health, that could make a big difference. AND THAT IS THE CHALLENGE!
Yours,
Potchini2
